... we went to the New Zealand Glass Works. The Personnel Manager mentioned that they needed two fork lift truck drivers. Upon hearing this, we both started telling the most fantastic lies...
'It's been so rough that the sea has been pouring in through our porthole which frequently goes right under the water....'
'We had a riotous evening, having been joined by two very drunk members of the crew. I am quite sure that never before in the history of Monopoly has a game been graced with such foul language!!'
'We popped into a few of the pubs. These have all the atmosphere of an English pub, but look like public lavatories!!'
'While all the passengers were sat waiting for their soup, I was wrestling on the floor in the kitchen...'
'It gets very tedious at sea, and I can't understand why anyone would want to make a career of it...'
'Something strange is happening today. Today is Thursday 14th and tomorrow is Saturday 16th!'
'Tahiti has just slipped over the horizon and I think this is one of the biggest regrets of my life, for I shall probably never see it again...'
'Had a very bad day yesterday. The chief steward went on a 'blinder' and was blind drunk all day...'
'We are 'speeding' along at 17 miles per hour which seems a ridiculously slow speed to be travelling for a distance of 7000 miles - but I suppose we will get there sooner or later...'