'It's been so rough that the sea has been pouring in through our porthole which frequently goes right under the water....'
'We had a riotous evening, having been joined by two very drunk members of the crew. I am quite sure that never before in the history of Monopoly has a game been graced with such foul language!!'
'We popped into a few of the pubs. These have all the atmosphere of an English pub, but look like public lavatories!!'
'While all the passengers were sat waiting for their soup, I was wrestling on the floor in the kitchen...'
'It gets very tedious at sea, and I can't understand why anyone would want to make a career of it...'
'Something strange is happening today. Today is Thursday 14th and tomorrow is Saturday 16th!'
'Tahiti has just slipped over the horizon and I think this is one of the biggest regrets of my life, for I shall probably never see it again...'